Trash the dress: a celebration of divorce

These photos are from a most raw and private hour, an emotional crucible that was the only way I knew to heal myself and move forward from a marriage that was headed toward divorce from the day it began. I share now for the first time, in order, and let them narrate for themselves.

Ironman 70.3 Worlds in Nice, France: THANK YOU

I am overjoyed and deeply honored to once again represent the USA on the world stage for triathlon.

This sport is all about connections: to ourselves, to those we love, to the incredible triathlon community. This opportunity is mine only because of them. From my heart: thank you, thank you.

Where I'm at with feminism this week, in three bullet points

Respect me for who I am and what I do. Just like everyone else.

On Monday at swim practice, we were waiting at the wall for the first set when a male lane mate started playfully splashing water at me. What I wanted to say to him:

  • Would you be splashing me if I were a guy?

  • If my husband were sitting right there on the pool deck, would you be splashing me then?

Stepmotherhood: a reckoning now that Dad’s back

So this idyllic and companionable relationship I’ve had with my 15-year-old stepdaughter the last six months while Dad was deployed? Weathering and cracking like unfinished wood since he returned.

Last Saturday, my husband and I returned home after a late-night groceries run. I was in the kitchen putting the last of the produce away when Sean came in and said, “A— is crying on her bed. She says you are over-controlling, but then when there’s things she wants you say you don’t have to because you’re the stepmom.”

How sports free us from chronic stress; and an Oceanside 70.3 recap

One way to think about sports is as a structure for overcoming obstacles, in competition. Get from here to there, jump from this to that, take this thing and move it over there—and do it fastest, or farthest. Sports is a recognition that strength and self-transformation don’t happen by sitting in the bleachers.

Many of us now live in chronic stress and anxiety. In response, there is a trend toward slowing down: slow food, gentle movement, meditation.

How parents are bad for their children

Since my husband’s fifteen-year-old daughter moved in with us in September, I’ve seen A transform and become radiant. I didn’t realize the gravity of A’s anxieties and insecurities until I saw her shed them, week after week, as she started at a new school, joined clubs, and (joy of joys!) made awesome friends. She carries herself with more confidence now and even my parents and friends remark on how her face glows.

Why do so many men do Ironman? Why do so many women do yoga?

If a woman wants “me” time, that’s assumed to be code for grocery shopping without the kids, going to a one-hour yoga class, or indulging at a spa. 

Have you ever heard a man say, “I need some ‘me’ time”?

A woman should be toned, but not muscular; be fit, but not by taking time away from her family; eat well, but not the whole bowl; glow, but not sweat; be confident, but not want to win.

Take the Leap: Recaping the 2018 World Championship in South Africa

You know that thing where you are working hard for something, over months or even years, and you keep imagining it in your mind, in pieces, like what you will wear, and just how hard will you have to push your legs, and what will the expression be on your face at that particular moment—and then it happens, you really live it for 4 hours and 35 minutes, and you’re just like, Wow.

The fight in yoga and how Richard became the Lionheart

There’s a legend about how Richard the Lionheart, a famous king and warrior during the 12th century, got his name.

Richard was imprisoned on his way home from the Crusades by the King of the Roman Empire. As the story goes, the King decided he would first starve his prisoner—and then he would unleash a wild lion into the cell. What did Richard do when he heard of this terrible plot? He did the only thing he could do: He prepared to fight. Richard took the candle in his cell and melted the wax into his palm where it hardened, giving him a stronger fist.